Hi!

rebekkarain.com

My name is Rebekka Angela C. Pamintuan, but my family calls me Rain.
The domain name should already tell you I had a small crisis deciding which version of myself to use.

Growing up, everyone called me Rain—so much so that my own school barely knew my full name. Somewhere along the way, I became
Rebekkah Angela Rain C. Pamintuan,
depending on who was calling me and how much patience they had with pronouncing a mouthful of syllables.

Whenever a professor asked us to introduce ourselves with a fun fact, I’d tell them this: when I was born, my father wanted to name me Fire And Rain. Yes, with the “And.” The moment people realize my name was supposed to come with a conjunction never fails to amuse me.

“Just why?” they’d ask.

When we moved away from my hometown, people stopped calling me Rain. It became something reserved for family, something smaller and more contained. I got tired of reminding people they could call me Rain if they wanted—Rebekka is what they saw on the student list or on my ID, so Rebekka is what they used.

Over time, my name multiplied.
Reby. Bekka. Baks. Versions I’ve already lost track of. I remember someone trying to call me Angela once before retreating and choosing whatever nickname everyone else was using at the time.

I never really minded. I’m not sure what that says about me. Maybe I’m too accommodating. Maybe I just find it fascinating how people instinctively rename things to make them their own.

This was supposed to be an introduction for my website.

Somewhere between names and nicknames, my thoughts started scattering. I’m letting them—for now. This is what my mind looks like before it decides what it wants to be.

I write with a lot of space. Maybe more than necessary. But this is how things come out when I don’t force them into shape too early. This intro will probably get archived in the future—but then again, we all have to start somewhere.

For a long time, I’ve been insecure about how I write. Not because I don’t like it, but because it never feels like enough—never sharp enough, never impressive enough to belong beside the writing I admire online. Still, I’m writing here anyway. Not to prove anything, just to practice choosing my own voice before I learn how to refine it.

So let me try again.

Hi. My name is Rain—or Rebekka, whichever feels right to you. Welcome to my personal website. This is my corner of the internet, where I treat everything as an experiment. People say that I’m “chronically offline", but I still want a place for the things I make to exist. This is me trying to decide how I want to be seen, instead of defaulting to where it’s easiest (aka not letting my works be seen at all).

That sounds cooler than it is. The truth is, I’m scared of what people will think. I hesitate to post on Substack because I hold other writers there in such high regard. I don’t share much on Instagram because I value my privacy too deeply. I overthink my style so much that half my video edits never make it to YouTube.

This website is my compromise. I’ll start here. I’ll post slowly. I’ll let myself be a little embarrassed.

And maybe one day, I’ll enjoy creating so much that other people’s opinions won’t matter nearly as much.

“Embarrassment is an underexplored emotion—go out there and make a fool of yourself.”
—Austin Butler